It appears that hyper sexuality has erased the previous teenager who only worried about finding their place in the world with the now 13 going on 25 miniature adults.
It’s with ease that the media is blamed; MTV pays out big money for the “reality” stars of the Jersey Shore to parade around any city, they feel has a “sexy, party feel” to it and encourage the cast to use phrases like “DTF” to describe any stranger who is always ready to come back home for a night cap from the best place to meet your future love interest –the nightclub.
The argument used frequently, is that parents should monitor what they’re kids watch; realistically speaking statistics show that a great majority of families have single parents who are busy making sure there is still a roof over their children’s heads. Besides, even two parent families can not control what their children watch, with computers and cell phones hyper sexualized shows likeJersey Shore are just a Google search away.
With that being said, the gradual change in society is the reason for little girls feeling the need to be sexy at their junior proms. People learn from what they witness. It isn’t a coincidence that as a whole we feel sympathy when we learned about a family being brutally murdered or a child being kidnapped, we spend maybe a week ranting that “a change is needed” yet completely forget after its no longer current. Why is that? Is that reason the same for why young girls want to wear prom dresses with deep front cuts and bare backs?
The same can be said for the young girls who idolize pop stars, who are parading around half naked and describe every sexual act in the lyrics of their songs. Those things generate the need to be sexy. Those same things are what make young boys feel like young girls are objects. There is no clear explanation of this phenomena, it isn’t discussed and the examples of good role models i.e. Disney stars Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus end up making their own full fledged mistakes that display sex as a members only cool kids club. In their defense surely they didnt ask to become the role models of millions of young girls but given their celebrity they have become such role models, no matter how unfit they maybe.
When children idolize celebrities they forget that they must use caution and use previous teachings to know right from wrong. While many would like to point the finger at other factors the truth is that many times constructive communication is the only way to breakthrough to the children of today. Constructive is the keyword. Many parents forget that no one responds to negativity, it’s nothing but bashing. The initial message gets lost in all of the negatives so that the person only remembers feeling embarrassed.
When engaging in constructive conversation clear boundaries must be remembered. Everyone wants to be understood, if during the conversation the child feels like they are being related to, their guards will become more relaxed allowing the message to be received. No one is to blame, trying to convict the person of what they’ve done in the past will not work, the child will check out of the conversation immediately. No yelling! Tone is everything. The minute the child feels attacked you will lose, keep a level tone, firm yet warm. Ultimately, no one knows your child better than you right? Wrong. They barely know themselves so how do you know them, hopefully these tips and thoughts will bring you and your child closer.