CULTURE

Light & Love

I’m in transition again. I’m strong, I’m aware. I’m in control of nothing but my own feelings. I now rest my head comfortably at the end of the day. My nest. I’ve recently moved into my own haven, after plenty of dips and twist I’ve finally found my own serenity. I come home to a cheerful puppy, who owns my heart. Control. Comfort. Clarity. Well two out of three is damn good, I’ve finally gained the clarity to realize that I need to be in this space. In this transition I’ve managed to put myself first, after years of taking care of others and living up to others expectations of myself… I’ve finally cut the cord to the outside world and plugged it in to my soul. I’m learning about myself everyday. Best of all, I’m discovering that I love this person that I’m becoming reacquainted with. Others perception no longer matter, the only things that do matter are those which bring smiles to fill the very corners of my mouth, those that allow me to daydream, those that inspire random burst of kindness, you know the type that surprises you, not the kind that is required. So many years wanting to be enough for friends, family and lovers alike. So many years wasted. When you ignore the voice inside it becomes harder to find yourself. Luckily for me, as mature as life has made me, none of the misfortunes that I’ve been through have managed to erase my child-like essence. A great friend told me not too long ago that I’m able to bring out the child in him, curiosity and all. I can’t say that I’m surprised as most of my thoughts usually ooze innocence which mostly require me to reevaluate before I speak. However, I’m not ashamed of this, my naïveté is part of my charm, it’s allowed me to embrace this transition and my mission of self love. I find myself using caution with myself. There’s no room for negativity and heaviness. If it doesn’t bring me light and love, I simply don’t want it.

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Macielle Betances

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