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Padded Walls & Straight Jackets

Sitting here. Four walls, a window and a door. I feel immobile. My mind is racing and slipping in and out of this place, one moment I hear a male, a kind tone commanding attention. Attention that I cannot give him, I’m not present. I’m washed up by the ocean enjoying the warm breeze, waves are crashing into the sand, it’s warm there, children are running, laughing actually living. Families are there too, enjoying the day. They seem perfect, mom and dad delightfully in love enjoying the look on their children’s faces, rosy cheeks and gleaming smiles. You can see who they use to be young lovers, infatuated with each other. Their past becomes vivid, passionate kisses on park benches, lazy boat rides amongst a wine filled lake, I don’t know their story but I feel the warmth she receives from his embrace, I can feel his want to protect her in his glare. They’ve built a world of their own, outside of rules and laws and the acceptance of others. They worry about nothing other than enjoying each others company.

Damn! I’m back the mans voice is louder, there are others around me all sitting immobile, uninterested. They are not present. I wonder where their minds go for these three hours. We all know the mans words are important but in this moment, we are just bodies, immobile. Prisoners of these four walls, of society, of this world. I choose to be free, does that make me a slacker? Irresponsible? No, it makes me brave.

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Macielle Betances

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